Saturday 23 May 2009

Dealing With the Aftermath - Chin up!


I thought I started feeling better yesterday but after seeing so many interviews with Kris and how much screen time he's had, I'm feeling bitterly disappointed to not be seeing Adam instead, who would make for a much more interesting and charismatic interviewee.  And it pains me for Adam to have to talk about losing over and over again with each interview (and for Kris too).

Since the result, I've been trying to rationalise it by spending time mulling over what happened with the voting.  Apparently the rumours about the 38 million Arkansas votes were false, but the result still wasn't a close one, so did we let Adam down?  Although I voted for a full seven hours, I didn't manage to get more than about 200 calls throughout the whole time because Gizmo was so slow and the lines were busy.  Were none of Adam's fans able to bulk text?  As I've mentioned before, I thought texting would be the key because there would be no danger of not getting through due to busy lines.  Someone could have texted my 7 hours' worth of calls in a couple of minutes, so calling was relatively futile.  I don't regret it but I'm gutted my efforts made no difference to the outcome, and I'm still finding the result difficult to accept.

Adam seems to be genuinely happy for Kris and handling things very well but I can't help but hurt for him.  I keep thinking that perhaps he's not appearing that disappointed because he's good at hiding his feelings.  Or that he never really allowed himself to truly believe he could win, especially after his reaction to being in the top two.  Which makes me get worked up even more because he should have.  Maybe it's better to believe that he just wanted to use the show to get exposure rather than to win.  One thing I do find encouraging is the genuine affection and close friendship they have demonstrated towards each other, which is a great example for all of us.

This is much more than a singing competition and Adam represented so many people's dreams. Kris may have been the underdog in the competition but in life he's the popular boy-next-door who ended up with the prom queen.  Adam may not have been the underdog in the competition but he was the underdog in life, which makes the loss seem like such a kick in the teeth, a bitter and painful rejection by America for all those he represented.  For Adam to have lost to Kris underlines the notion that America is less willing to accept true brilliance than the ability to conform.  I wanted Adam to win to have the satisfaction of knowing that his music could transcend or even shift society's attitudes but I was being overly optimistic.  I'm glad I don't live in the US.  As I see it, he's reawakened in so many people a long-dormant spirit of adventure, creativity, experimentation and an appreciation of music that would previously have been dismissed.  I wanted him to know this and be rewarded for it as well as for his dedication to being a great entertainer.

I don't want to end on a gloomy note because I'm sure that's the last thing we need.  I've just managed to see the whole of the results show.  I missed a huge chunk of it through the stream (which was awful as I was scared I'd have to wait two days before I watch the result) as I had problems with the internet.  I couldn't bring myself to watch the result online but I now feel much better.  The results show felt like a tribute concert for Adam where he commanded the stage and shone like a supernova.  It was plain to see who the star was, and even the established artists he shared the stage with were made to look like his minions.  It seemed like the show kept him as the highlight for the second hour so that people would stay tuned.  Even though the Queen performance was done with Kris, it was obvious who they were there for and he seemed to be the winner who was willing to share the limelight.  Perhaps that was part of the shock because the show led us to believe that Adam had won.  Part of me feels that Kris wouldn't have gotten to the final if it weren't for Adam's friendship.  I think of what Adam brought to AI this season - which includes Slash, their first Zeppelin song, KISS, Queen, and credibility - before breaking it.  He got in the maximum number of performances (minus the coronation song, which is a plus), he has people queueing up to work with him and he had the mentors gushing all over him.  He was so gracious and seemed like Kris's proud dad at the announcement.  His iTunes sales are doing very well and Simon is a complete Glamb Skank.  People tuned in especially to watch him and even though he didn't win, it was just a stepping stone.  AI8 will always be The Adam Lambert Show.  There's plenty to feel positive about.

4 comments:

  1. Well, you made me cry. For Adam's and our loss. For the end of these amazing few months that changed me forever. I am crying because of how proud I am for Adam: his gift to change people's lives,his incredible talent and his transcending beauty. I hope that he is happy just like he says he is. He should be. He achieved more than winning the competition. Adam became the Idol, - and for all the right reasons and should not have any regrets or any doubts. And he only needs to read your blog to know the extend of this love and adoration we have for him. This is the best gift from YOU to Adam. And through your voice he will hear all our voices. I hope that Adam reads this blog. And if not, you may need to post it on his site. If he ever feels hurt, he only needs to come here....
    AD

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  2. Sad, sad, sad. Every time I see Adam interviewed it makes me so mad. He's being terrifically gracious - even in the face of overwhelming adversity. He SHOULD have won. Every time we see Kris singing I’m reminded of how Adam tore up that stage. Just wait till the summer tour. Adam will take the stage to complete and utter pandemonium. Everyone else....not so much. I hope he’s able to avoid the haters in the group. Adam’s brother has posted some unflattering things about both Sarver and Gokey. Seems they were hard pressed to keep their homophobia in check.

    So – what next for you? Will you maintain this site? Hope so. You should ask people to email you items about Adam (stories, videos). It’s a good way for all of us to keep track of our boy. :)

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  3. I have been watching many interviews of Adam and Kris and each and every reporter seems to side step Kris and home in on Adam, they seem so excited to be next to and speaking with Adam. I have never seen in all the histories of AI where the runner up gets more attention than the winner. Its plain to see who the real winner is here. Although we are all deeply upset and even angry that Adam did not win the title (I think it had a lot to do with the amounts of votes Adam fans cast, his fans are mostly adult and they dont spend hours voting like the teenies, I have spoken with Adam fans and they thought voting 30 or 50 times was a lot, which clearly is not, I myself voted 970 times!)we have to take comfort that Adam is excited about his future and as he said in his own words, "its not about tonight its about what happens tomorrow" On that note I look forward with baited breath anything at all Adam will produce. He would be great in a movie!
    Carmella

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  4. Adam is a life force. He changes people. I believe that he caused all of the contestants and Kris especially to up their games. I feel that Kris totally knew that he would never have won if not for the influence that Adam had on him with his fearlessness and generosity. That is why the 1st words out of Kris' mouth were "Adam deserves this. I'm sorry." I'm actually sorry for Kris, who has to live with the fact that he robbed this amazing phenomenon of what he so justly deserved. But Adam is beyond all of that now -- he is the Icon. Thank you AI, you silly, cheesy reality show, for blessing us with Adam.

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